The Lost Blog

Interesting night.....

2007-11-18T00:37:00.000-08:00

We had some fucking great ass bands play with us tonight.....

My hat goes off to all of you!!! You all kicked ass.

It is the people who come to these shows who piss me off. They do not want to stay for the whole night and leave when the band they wanted to hear gets done playing! Now do not get me wrong I am not trying to sound like I have an ego, most of the band members know I am the laid back one of the group, most of the time, I guess you could say. But this whole fucking show tonight was for the LUCHADORES and for US to help people who would love to support us.

But like most of the "scene"....wait we have a scene??...anyways....you all get up and leave and go your own way to leave the other bands in the dust. There are a FEW, TRUE, and REAL musicians left in this town, and I can say I play with 4 of them. We have finally found our click and that heart we were missing to get all this shit back together.

All I can say is....it is not the bands that RUINED this scene....it is/was the people who come out to watch.

I like it better playing only one time a year in Victoria with Mark and the Gang.

Long time no see

2007-11-04T21:10:00.000-08:00

Weird today could not have been a better day.......

First off I have touched based with an old friend I hadn't talk to for a VERY VERY VERY LONG time. She was the only girl that had never rejected one my songs I wrote about her. I consider her very close to me and more like a star crossed lover HAHA. I admit I have a crush on her but she is in CA and it could never really be we been friends way too long.

Secondly, I got to see Bean today and I admit she can still be mad at me in the inside but as long as her and I are cool that is all that matters. I still care and love that girl.

and Last, the Luchadores might have lost, but we have Bodog, get to play the pre show for the Misfits and have one busy november!!!!!!!!!! Life is great.

To all the Fathers that I call friends

2007-06-17T20:34:00.000-07:00

Today is a very important day.....

Not so very important day for me....but anyways

A message to you all:

Today was a day for you all to receive your gifts and hear your children
and your loved ones tell you how much they love you and hear those 3
great words I bet any Father would love to hear "Happy Father's Day!"

But instead of hearing it from them and waiting for those presents,
grab your kid and tell them "Thanks for making my Father's Day Great!"
and tell them how much you love them on this day!! Because without them
you would have never had this day to cherish.

You never know when that day will go away for yourself and for them!
Make it last and make those memories......because when it comes to an
end that is all we will ever have.

Happy Father's Day message to:
Tim Oi!
Chris Benson
Uncle Robert
David Coria
Grandpa Schobey

and you Dad......Happy Father's Day......take care!

I thought things would get better.

2007-06-15T19:31:00.000-07:00

but it hasn't.....certain people treat me like a second rate friend.

I am pushing people away for a reason and I word it out every night but
I care too much for my friends to hurt their feelings or get them upset
at me.

Sometimes I don't want to be around any of you and for the most part
it is because you hurt my feelings by doing stuff which I will never
understand.

If you care then show me you care....just don't say it.

I love my friends more then most of you will ever know and even care
to know.......

Like I say drastic changes require drastic actions.....and also why I say
I love my friends but hate them at the sametime!

To Josh and Bean....

2007-06-13T20:58:00.000-07:00

I was driving home from my friends house listening to this song

I listen to these guys a bit when I am down and heard this song
and it made me think of you both.

But from seeing things recently things seem to be picking up but
even if I am too late to post this.....

Just know even if I am distant from you both.....it is for a reason.

But that is for another post...this is about you guys!!

I'm Lost Without You
by Blink 182

I swear that I can go on forever again
Please let me know that my one bad day will end
I will go down as your lover, your friend
Give me your lips and with one kiss we begin

Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am
I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am
I'm lost without you

I'll leave my room open till sunrise for you
I'll keep my eyes patiently focused on you
Where are you now I can hear footsteps I'm dreaming
And if you will
Keep me from waking to believe this

My thoughts for today......

2007-06-12T20:01:00.000-07:00

will be short.

Funny how the littlest of comments can get to me.

Funny how the smallest of actions by certain people makes me mad.

Funny how I sit and wonder who my true friends are.

but no matter how hard I try and ask for a shoulder,
I never seem to be able to get it out.

1 heart 4 sale?? Damaged...heavily used....

Anyone??

Sitting in my room

2007-06-10T20:49:00.001-07:00

I have so much on my plate and I cannot seem to stuff it all down
my mouth to help get rid of the pain. It just seems the more I eat
the more gets added on to it and I am not really keen on getting
second helpings!

Some might know that I lost my father last year in a VERY SUDDEN
way, which I never wish anyone to go through! I been told it is
always sudden and no one is ever ready. Honestly, that is a load
of bullshit. I have felt this hurt of suddenly losing a loved one
a long time ago and that pain felt very much as the pain of my
father, only my father was way worse.

The main reason why is because I have never felt that I was a great
son to him. I always think there was somethings I could have done
better. I regret all the fights and all the yelling and name calling.
I regret pushing him and laying my hands on him because we got into
are squabbles but not once did I punch him. But knowing I could
have maybe just walked away from it all and said "I am sorry Dad,
you are right!" could have changed the things went.

Then their is also the fact I seem to have problems within my circle.
Two of my friends have told me that I need to realize that their are
other people out there who care about me also. Well I just find it
funny that one friend who said this has never once, maybe I am wrong,
had ever been there to talk or hangout with me then the other one has.
But then the one who I did talk with more and hangout with more sure
did, still does?, make me feel neglected out of no where.

So how does it make me feel when one person wants to start talking
about what I am dealing with when I felt they were never there before?

But how do I handle the fact that the person I would want to talk to
has there problems to deal with and makes me feel left out on what is
wrong and just sort of stop talking to me since one night?

I just hope things change soon....

for the better....

Because drastic changes make me do drastic things

My Lost Thoughts

2007-06-09T22:11:00.000-07:00

I started this blog to help get my thoughts out without to much concern
for what people think. I mean this is a blog and a good friend taught me
that what I write here is my thoughts and if you don't like it then you can
go fuck off!!

Welcome to my blog and welcome to my lost thoughts.